November 25, 2012I am free to express myself as I am at every moment that I am. If that means that my sense of sadness may come through on some days more than others, then so be it. It is honest expression, as opposed to suppression in order to try to live up to the ideas that anyone else may have of me.
Events in our lives do have an effect on how we feel/perceive the world around us and as individuals, we are always transforming. If I happen to be going through a phase in which I am allowing myself to feel as I do and somehow that comes across to others who have known me through previous manifestations of myself as looking tired, beaten by life, and frazzled, so be it. I am not under any obligation to try to live up to a previous version of myself, simply to meet anyone else's expectations of whom they believe me to be.
Yes, my sadness may come through these days more obviously than in the past, and yes, it might be accurate that at this moment I may look "tired". And that is because I do indeed feel exhausted.
Does that mean that I consider myself to be "beaten by life"? Absolutely not. It simply means that I am okay with allowing myself to feel as I do, until I feel differently. I am still present and still aware of my own choices. Beauty does not have only one form of manifestation.